


Unlocking the mystery of abs (and I'm not talking about the breaking system)

by Blondbookworm



Category: Driver's Education, Movie: Unlocking The Mystery of ABS
Genre: Boys Kissing, Crack, Drivers Ed unit ten, M/M, bad car jokes, honestly so much crack, i literally wrote this whole thing about a drivers ed video, if you havent seen it i highly recommend trying to find it on youtube, on an unrelated note i havent slept in six days, or it did and i just forgot them, the movie was called unlocking the mystery of ABS, theres not really that big of an age difference, this is from the online driversed.com classroom course unit 10, this whole thing was a mistake, um the video never said their names, when i sleep at night all i hear is screaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 07:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9593957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blondbookworm/pseuds/Blondbookworm
Summary: Are you currently/ have you recently taken the classroom driver's education lessons from driversed.com? Then THIS is the fic for you! It's about the two weird driving instructors from the Unit 10 video, Unlocking the Mystery of ABS! Featuring car puns and strange disembodied music! I haven't slept in six days!





	

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't seen the video, everyone is wearing khakis that go up to their boobs and it watches like a weird acid trip, I did my best to do it justice. I don't think the video ever said their names (I'm pretty sure it mentioned the name of the detective, though) but I also don't care, so in this story, they have no names.  
> UPDATE: Watch the full video here- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEudqGL5n2Y

The two men in black coats looked at each other. The younger one, with dark hair and high cheekbones, contemplated asking his partner if he could change into something more comfortable, like super high khakis, but the thought of the of the older man’s reaction made the idea seem less like fun and more like hell. His partner prided himself on decorum, and always made a point to show up to work every day in a long black robe and perfectly starched collar. Personally, the dark haired man thought his lighter haired counterpart’s attire was a bit of an overkill, considering they were driving instructors and stood in the sun all day teaching men how to drive using safety cones, but hey, who was he to judge. It didn't stop him from wondering sometimes what it would take to get the uptight blond haired man a little ruffled, what it would feel like to pull his Italian silk tie carefully out of its knot, to twine his fingers in light colored hair-. He quickly stopped his thoughts from progressing any further down that path and coughed, drawing the other man’s attention. 

“Another happy couple, and two people who will understand the safest way to break from now on, huh?” 

“Yes,” the blond haired man murmured, nodding. 

“Those shirts were a nice touch, partner” 

The younger man beamed, trying to hide how much hearing his co-teacher call him partner in his gravelly voice affected him. He had known the shirts were going to be a hit, no pun intended, and many people had commented on how much they reminded them to drive safely every day. “Anything to keep our roads safe!” The blond haired man nodded again in agreement, but this time his eyes were distant and troubled.

“Such a nice couple” he sighed. The black haired man was surprised. Did his partner sound the tiniest bit… wishful?

 

Before he could analyze this new development, their mutual friend, the detective, walked in. “Hello, fellas,” said the detective, the strains of the mysterious music that seemed to follow him around everywhere floating gently on the breeze, 

“Hi!” said the younger man, followed by a slightly less enthusiastic, but equally warm greeting from his older counterpart. The private eye tugged down the brim of his fedora 

“I came to congratulate you on a job well done. You really gave me a break, no pun intended.” “Well, we couldn't have done it without you making such a break in the case, pun intended,” said the light-haired man, chuckling a little. The dark haired man almost swooned. His partner was so handsome and funny! He looked up to see the PI staring at him. Blushing furiously, the young man quickly looked away. 

“Your clients loved the shirts my partner made” the older man said proudly “They had quite the motto about breaking on them” The dark haired man blushed even harder, suddenly unable to remember what the shirt said, and desperately hoped it wouldn't be the one question asked to him on the quiz at the end of the video. Now the detective swung his gaze over to the light-haired man, seizing him up like he’d never seen him before. The unseen music swelled, and the PI  looked like he’d figured out an impossible puzzle. 

“You know I’m okay with it right?” the private eye said, in a way that would have been awkward for anyone else,  but because he was a detective it just seemed cool and suave. 

“I won't try to break you guys up, no pun intended.” The co-teachers exchanged a baffled glance. “You know…” the detective leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially “the dating each other thing.”  

 

The two men reeled backward like they'd been struck, “Woah, woah!” shouted the younger man “Gently pump the brakes a second!” 

“Excuse me!” spluttered the older man “I would never presume to take advantage- I would never force myself-” 

“Unless the brakes are ABS in which case press down firmly and don't le-” The dark haired man stopped speaking abruptly as he registered the light-haired man's words 

“Wait- don’t want to force yourself?” the lighter haired man had stopped speaking as well, obviously horrified by his own words 

“I mean…” he started “You never even indicated you swung this way, and I didn't want to force you  like a car is forced to swing when the brakes lock up.”  

The younger man took a deep breath and stepped in close “You would never lock up my breaks,” his voice hitched as the older man wrapped an arm around his waist and brought his hand up to his face, smoothing his thumb over the dark haired man's protruding cheekbone. 

“The only reason I’m swinging your way is because that's the way I’ve turned the steering wheel.” In a rush, like two cars colliding with the force of their combined kinetic energy, their lips met, the younger man grabbing onto the silky soft strands of his partner’s blond hair and holding on tight. 

 

Unseen by the couple that was currently doing their best to swallow each other’s tongues, the detective slipped away, climbing into his car and firmly inserting his seat belt into the latch. “Ah, young love” he sighed “well, whatever gets their motors running,” and then the PI sped away. The light haired man pulled away slowly from the sweet mouth of his partner at the sound of the private eye’s fast retreating car. Ignoring the unhappy noise of the dark haired man, the older man looked down into the face of his better half “Would you like to get dinner with me?” he murmured “As,” here he blushed, breaking eye contact and looking down at the floor “as, my date?” The dark haired man beamed, dazzling the older man like oncoming traffic with their high beams still on. “I would love to” he whispered “but first…” His eyes were adoring and adorable “Kiss me again.” And the blond man happily obliged.

**Author's Note:**

> dark driversed.com, give me a video with two women in it so i can write about lesbians next time


End file.
